Johnny Cash Won’t Back Down
On a sunlit afternoon, Johnny Cash sits in a large, comfortable chair in the Hendersonville, Tennessee, house he’s shared with his wife, June Carter Cash, for more than thirty years. He’s reflecting on his life. In 1997, he announced that he was struggling with a nervous-system disorder, and his public manifestations since then have been rare. But this afternoon, he is expansive, good-humored and, above all, indomitable as he talks about the album he is recording, his plans and his past.
“This room right here that you’re in, this is the room I moved into when I decided to quit drugs in 1968,” Cash says as he looks around the oval-shaped, dark-wooded den. “They didn’t have treatment centers the way they do now, so this is the room that I climbed the walls in for thirty days.
“The doctor came to see me every day at 5 P.M.,” he continues. “The first few days I was still rollin’ stones. Amphetamine was my drug of choice, and I had pills hidden all over this room.” He looks over to the many doors that line the wall opposite the row of windows overlooking Old Hickory Lake. He pauses, then laughs to himself. “I was serious about quitting – but not quite,” he says, wryly. “About the third or fourth day, the doctor looked me in the eye and asked, ‘How you doin’?’ I said, ‘Great!’ And he said, ‘Bullshit. I know you’re not doing great. When are you going to get rid of them?’ So I went and got them out of the closet and wherever else I had them hid, and we flushed them. Then I really started the program that he laid out for me. I came out of here feeling like a million dollars.”
Being around Johnny Cash is a daunting experience. He is tall, and, though the illness he now lives with has broadened him around the middle and grayed that sleek mane of black hair, he remains a formidable physical presence. As he talks, he will occasionally put his hands over his eyes and rub them, as if he is in pain. Those eyes look as though they have seen everything, have absorbed all the lessons those experiences had to offer and now are hungry for more. His intelligence is keen, and his innate dignity informs every move he makes and every word he speaks. It is heartbreaking to watch him, a giant, struggle with his burden. The knowledge that Cash has walked both sides of the line separating sin and salvation only thickens the air of integrity that always surrounds him.
Right now, in the bright sunshine outside, a celebration is under way on the sprawling grounds of the Cash estate, just north of Nashville. Several hundred people – including such Nashville luminaries as George Jones, Tom T. Hall and Skeeter Davis – have gathered to celebrate the release of June Carter Cash’s Press On, a moving collection of songs that honors her heritage as a daughter of the Carter Family, the founding family of country music. But while the festivities go on, guests are quietly led back to the house for private audiences with Johnny. He’s friendly to everyone, but he’s pacing himself. He plans to perform a song with June in an hour or two, and he needs to conserve his energy.
In October 1997 Cash grew dizzy and nearly fell after bending down to retrieve a guitar pick during a performance in Flint, Michigan. He then told the audience that he had Parkinson’s disease. Shortly afterward, he was diagnosed with Shy-Drager Syndrome, a progressive, Parkinson’s-like illness for which there is currently no cure. The prognosis is terrifying: chronic degeneration over a period of years, then death. Cash canceled the remainder of that ’97 tour. He has subsequently been hospitalized a number of times for pneumonia, and he has suffered other side effects of the disease and its rigorous treatment. Cash has fought his illness with characteristic will – so much so that there is now some question about whether the diagnosis of Shy-Drager is correct. While he suffers many bad days – and neither his doctors nor anyone in the Cash camp will publicly venture a more optimistic read on his health – Cash has fared far better than anyone had a right to believe he would.
It’s hardly surprising, under such circumstances, that Cash’s mind would turn to an earlier physical struggle – his tormented battle with drug addiction, a battle that, despite some notable backsliding, he eventually won. He does not like discussing his sickness. “It’s all right,” he assured the Michigan crowd after revealing his illness. “I refuse to give it some ground in my life.” In the spring of 1999 he told USA Today, “I’ve made it a point to forget the name of the disease and not to give it any space in my life, because I just can’t do it. I can’t think that negatively. I can’t believe I’m going to be incapacitated. I won’t believe that.” After that article appeared, Cash was so upset about its detailed discussion of his illness that he canceled some upcoming interviews.
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