What Music Theatre Students in Dubai Taught Me About Corporate America
Last year, I was invited to address students at a prestigious performing arts school in Dubai. I wasn’t there to share my thoughts on melodic structure or character development — I was there to talk about networking.
My contact on the school’s faculty explained that her students needed to learn how to network in creative spaces, and she knew that was a specialty for me. She knew that in nearly 20 years of creating music as a tool for public health applications, I had reached out to a vast, diverse array of potential contributors (from Grammy winners to social workers to regional creatives).
When you do something often enough, you go on autopilot. So I needed to take stock of what made that process possible in order to explain how I brought experts in heavy metal together with experts in mental health, for example. As the students and I discussed and laughed together, I watched them relax. They realized they could do this — of course, they could.
Talking with them made me realize something important. We’re all sometimes unsure about reaching out, even when we’re pretty sure we’ve got something to contribute. This isn’t a struggle just for students in the performing arts. This can be an issue for people fully established in their careers, too — both for those in creative enterprises and for those in corporate America.
So how do we deal with that?
Step 1: Decide That You Are Worth Knowing
This is probably the hardest part. It boils down to a decision that only you can make. Degrees, awards, accolades and paychecks can’t decide this for you. You — and only you — have the power to decide that you are someone worth knowing. Someone with something valuable to say, do and contribute. So, decide that. (Tomorrow, decide it again.)
You will need to introduce yourself: “Here’s who I am. Here’s why I’m reaching out.” When you do that, speak from a place of knowing that it’s worth the other person’s time to interact with you.
Step 2: Choose to Be Vulnerable and Praise Someone Else
If you’re reaching out to someone because you admire their work, respect their expertise, value their thoughts, tell them that. It’s easy to imagine that impressive people must be inundated with compliments, praise and flattery. In my experience, that is not the case. Most people — including really accomplished, successful people — receive relatively little direct, positive feedback in their lives.
Part of this, I think, is because we’re all afraid of being vulnerable. It is deeply vulnerable to tell someone else the positive things you think about them. Do it anyway. Set the context for the interaction: “I am reaching out because I admire your work.”
The Rolling Stone Culture Council is an invitation-only community for Influencers, Innovators and Creatives. Do I qualify?
Step 3: Ask for the Most Precious Thing: Expert Perspective
If you’re successful, people will ask you for money. And they might ask you for access or some other special dispensation. But people don’t often ask for the thing that is typically most precious: expert perspective.
Many of the big breakthroughs in my life have boiled down to an expert telling me, “Approach ABC will probably work. Approach XYZ probably won’t.” (I bet this is true for you, too.)
Who doesn’t want a breakthrough? So ask for that. Ask for the expert perspective that will save you time, trouble and discouragement. In my experience, most subject matter experts are delighted for a context in which they can share that kind of information.
Step 4: Make It Easy to Say Yes
All of the successful people I know are busy. But many of the most successful people I know are still willing to do a small favor for free, if it’s easy to say yes to the request. So make sure you’ve thought through your ask so that it’s an easy yes.
If you need a brief telephone consultation, spell it out. Ask for five minutes to discuss one specific topic, and tell them you’re happy to be available whenever is convenient for their schedule. Far more people will say yes to this than you might expect.
Step 5: Say Thank You
“Manners maketh man” is still true. If someone helps you, even if it’s a small thing, thank them. Tell them directly that you are grateful for their generosity with their time and expertise. Let them know that you stand ready to return the favor, if they should ever need anything that’s in your specific wheelhouse.
The talk at the performing arts school was a success, and not just because we all had a good time together. But because since then, the students, faculty and I have all lived out these principles. We’ve asked each other for guidance and expertise. We’ve helped each other network. Those of us in that room that day have since won awards, given presentations, been admitted to graduate programs and appeared on international music recordings for one simple reason: we reached out and we asked.