Springsteen Goes Acoustic, Louis C.K. Gets Filthy at ‘Stand Up for Heroes’
When Brian Williams walked onstage near the end of the annual Stand Up for Heroes charity event at New York’s Theater at Madison Square Garden last night, there was every reason to believe he was there to introduce Bruce Springsteen. By that point, every other performer on the bill (Jon Stewart, Jim Gaffigan, John Oliver and Louis C.K.) had done their acts and the NBC newscaster promised the crowd that they were about to see a talented singer from the state of New Jersey. But as the crowd began yelling for “Bruuuuuce,” out walked Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who proceeded to deliver a rather impressive rendition of “New York, New York” with live piano accompaniment. “I’m king of the hill,” he sang in his best Sinatra voice. “Chairman of the Joint Chiefs!”
It was the kind of moment only possible at Stand Up for Heroes, an annual event organized by the Bob Woodruff Foundation that raises money for injured service members and their families. Since its inception in 2006, it has raised more than $22 million. The event was first staged at Town Hall in 2007, and every year since it’s brought together some of the biggest names in comedy and music. This year’s show, the flagship event of the New York Comedy Festival, was particularly impressive. Here are 10 great moments.
1. Bruce Springsteen Cracks Jokes
Springsteen has played every single Stand Up for Heroes, and each time he finds himself in the odd position of following many of the most famous comedians in the country. While he certainly has is own talents, he always comes prepared with a few jokes. “On the New Jersey Turnpike the other night, a truck was hijacked by a group of thieves,” he said. “The truck was full of Viagra. The New Jersey state police are now looking for a group of hardened criminals.” He didn’t stop there. “A guy is sitting next to a nice-looking woman on an airplane,” he said. “She says, ‘I’m reading a book about how you get the most sexual satisfaction. According to the book, Native Americans and Polish men are the world’s greatest lovers.’ Then she goes, ‘Hi, my name’s Jill. What’s yours?’ He says, ‘Flying Cloud Kowalski.'”
2. Jon Stewart Keeps It Short
The Daily Show host performs at Stand Up for Heroes almost every year, and this time he opened the show with a set that clocked in at barely six minutes. After walking the crowd through his Halloween night, where his son dressed up as a Sumo wrestler, he moved onto the recent midterm elections. “It’s not just that the Republicans won,” he said. “It’s more like they skull-fucked the Democrats in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever seen happen. What happened to Obama? He used to be about hope and change. Now he’s like, ‘Ah, fuck that.'”
3. Jim Gaffigan Cracks Fat Jokes
When you’ve only got nine minutes for a set and you’re sandwiched between comedy legends, it’s best to stick to your A-list material. For Jim Gaffigan, that means doing a set where virtually every joke is about his love of food and his weight problem. After all, this is a guy whose new book is called Food: A Love Story. “I’m wearing these pants because they are some of the only pants that still fit me,” he said. “I don’t know if you’ve had the opportunity to fat out of clothes, but it’s a special feeling. There are watershed moments in your life, like when you hold your newborn or fat out of a pair of jeans.”